Why We'll Burn the Crystal Palace: Dostoevsky's Hunger for the 'Fuck You' Choice

May 24, 2026 (2mo ago)

The Crystal Palace, London, 1851

Given a choice to live forever in a world where wrong doesn't exist, desire and "free will" is all formulated and you, yes you are reduced to nothing but a replaceable non-unique cog in the system, would you live in it? Even if you say yes to this dystopian determinism of human life, the animal like hunger inside you to reject it will surface stronger than ever, even if in the process you destroy yourself you will still raise your hands in victory and look the system in the eyes and say "Fuck you". What is more ironic is this un-tamable hunger of ours is predictable and that it WILL occur but the source and result is what always stays a mystery.

Borrowing from Dostoevsky's Notes from Underground — "the most advantageous advantage a man wants or can have is his independent choice". History is witness whenever mankind was tried to put into a box labeled rational it broke free. Mankind can never not be independent.

Even if it has to crawl face first, tear itself apart, even if it may destroy mankind itself, it will still push through.

"But why would mankind willingly harm itself?" you may ask, cute. Let's take this towards our consciousness → over-consciousness creates a sort of if not complete paralysis, and the paralysis becomes avoidance. This avoidance then turns into enjoyment, a never ending cycle of self-loathing and hatred ensues. He knows it's wrong, knows the consequences, yet chooses it, and hence suffering becomes proof of being awake.

Awareness does not free him, it tightens the loop. Even if he were to accept it, nothing would change. Insight itself becomes another wall.

Conclusion

Mankind is unwilling to be reduced to equations, the very thing that leads to the success of this human autonomy can be challenged but the essence? The essence, that spark you and me carry cannot. We can't be fully domesticated, not by utopias, not by reason, or whomsoever tries to do so. The moment someone offers us perfect happiness in exchange for our freedom, we will lead ourselves to ruins. That spark is the reason we even evolved to build systems, reason, even you. It's not an argument, it's an axiom of existence.

Freedom may be an illusion, but the hunger for it is irreducible. And that hunger is willing to choose suffering, contradiction, and absurdity just to say: this was my fucking choice.